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Jobs I’d Like to Have

January 14, 2009

This post was inspired by Shaba’s post over on A Blog of Her Own. When I saw the post, I thought “OOOH! I could have so much fun listing jobs I would want!” I don’t know how productive it will be, but it seems fun, so here goes, listed in the order that they come to mind. Keep in mind that I’ve completely made up some of these jobs.

1. Horse farm or ranch owner / manager – I love horses, and this has been my dream job since I was a kid. Be around horses all day, never have to wear a pants suit, go riding whenever I want. Awesome. I even thought about working at a dude ranch, where there would be less mucking of stalls and milking of cows and more going swimming and leading trail rides. Since I probably won’t ever be able to own my own stables, and working at a dude ranch is a possibility, that is the direction my dream goes in right now.

2. Fashion / Magazine photographer – I don’t give a damn about fashion, but I’d love to photograph beautiful people. I’d also love to travel to cool locations and have fun props to play with. The idea of millions of people looking at my phtoographs is a huge plus. I mean, sure, I would love to be respected for my art photography, but how fun would it be to shoot the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition?

3. Dolphin / Whale / Sea lion trainer – I love sea mammals, and I would love to spend all day interacting with them. One one hand, I dislike the idea of keeping animals in captivity, especially in the small tanks at some parks. However, other places have better approaches, such as the facility I visited in Mexico that has an open-ocean netted enclosure for their dolphins, and allows a few of them to come and go as they please each night. It seems crazy to just open the gates and let your dolphins out into the ocean, but an employee explained that with all of the free food and attention that they get, the dolphins will almost always come back. In fact, they’ve never lost one. I want a job there.

4. Travel Writer / Photographer – It would be amazing to travel the world and write about my experiences. I’m doing that on a small scale now, through this blog, but it could be so much better than this. Free rooms, exotic destinations . . . mmm.

5. Personal Assistant / Organizer / Life Coach – I don’t do any of these things for myself, but I really like the idea of doing someone’s shopping, picking up their kids, helping them organize their office, and reminding them of dentist’s appointments. I don’t know why I like it so much, since I am unorganized and forgetful when it comes to myself, but I somehow enjoy doing these tasks for someone else.  I like taking care of people. I like making lists. Anyone want to try me out?

6. Wedding Planner – Again, I’m not a very organized person when it comes to myself, but I would love to help others with their weddings. Weddings are fun, and there are a tons of opportunities for creativity. It seems like a blast to be constantly tasting cakes, looking at fabric swatches, and touring facilities. It’s like being a bridesmaid all of the time, but you get paid and you don’t have to lose any weight.

7. Renaissance Faire Manager / Vender / Cast Member – I love Renaissance Faires, and I’m a sort of gopher at one here in Kentucky due to my fiance’s position as a bagpiper there. I would love to be able to spend more time there, make more decisions, have more interaction with the visitors. Barring that, I might just be a . . .

8. Pirate  – It isn’t precisely a “job,” but so what? Who doesn’t want to sail around gathering plunder, drinking rum, and flirting with mermaids?

9. List Maker – I stole this one from A Blog of Her Own. I agree with her fully, though. I adore making lists, and I’d be happy to make lists for you all day long. Just give me a topic, and go to lunch.

10. Kitchen Appliance Namer – stolen from Mitch Hedberg. All you do is sit around and name kitchen applicances all day, which consists solely of finding out what the thing does and adding “er” to the end. It stores things? Good. It’s a “storer.”

11. Professional Dancer / Singer / Model / Actress – I really can’t dance, my voice isn’t spectacular, I’m not beautiful, and I get stage fright, but gosh aren’t they wonderful up on stage/the silver screen? Isn’t this every girl’s childhood dream?

12.  Dream Interpreter – I don’t know crap about dreams, but I think I can come up with something that makes as much sense as the next guy/girl.

13. Psychologist – sit around and listen to people all day? Help them get their lives back together? Yes, please. This was my second choice of careers, after teacher.

14. College Advisor – I’d love to help your pick your classes, choose what dorm to live in, find a major, apply for scholarships. And I’d be a hell of a lot better at it than some people I know.

15. Riverboat Captain – I don’t know why. Mark Twain did it.

16. Professional Four-Leaf Clover Finder – I’m amazing at this, and I wish someone would pay me.

17. Animal Cop – I love the show on Animal Planet, and I would love to spend all day helping animals.

18. FBI Agent – just because I want to know stuff. Like, what’s at Area 51? Also, it would be cool to have a badge that I can flash and then do whatever I want.

19. Author – this is another that I think might actually happen, though I have no unrealistic hopes of being the next Stephen King. I’d just like to have a couple  thousand readers and perhaps a good review in the Times.

20.  English Teacher – this is what I’m actually planning on doing with my life. It combines my loves of reading and writing, helping others, organization, etc. Even if I don’t get any of the other jobs on this list, I know I’ll be happy with this one.

I’m sure I’d think of more if I kept at it (including internet-answer-finder, bubble-wrap-popper, christmas-present-shopper, and resort manager), but I’m tired. What’s your dream job?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 14, 2009 1:12 pm

    My God, I will testify to the significance of your ability to find four-leaf clovers.

    People, Erin and I had class together a few times. One semester, we had a Monday/Wednesday/Friday meet time. Every class day for three weeks, she brought me a four-leaf clover. Every. Single. Day.

    She only stopped because she got tired of it. Amazing. I still have some in my literature book from that class.

    My dream job? Getting paid to be myself. I think this is the closest thing to getting paid for doing nothing there is, as you’re just being yourself, which should be effortless.

  2. January 19, 2009 4:16 am

    My little brother, nicknamed The Golden Child, is a four leaf clover finding freak!
    I swear he has a bazillion of them. I, have never seen one. I’m amazed that you can do this.

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