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A revelation. Seriously.

February 19, 2009

OK, so I was reading today’s Dear Abby (yes, I am addicted. I don’t know if I should be embarrassed), and the following things came to light concerning marriage and weddings.

1. I am not religious, so I have no interest in my marriage being “sanctioned by God.”

2. I am not of the opinion that pieces of paper make things more real. Because of this, having the state say that my marriage is valid is not terribly important (which does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that I will not cry when I sign the paperwork).

3. People all over the world, for time immemorial, have simply stated that they desired to be married (actually I don’t know how long marriage has been around, but I bet some sort of lifelong union has) in front of friends and family, and that was that. I’m sure that state-sanctioning and God-sanctioning goes on, but it is the intent of the couple that matters.

4. Because of the above points, I am essentially already married.

Now, I’m not going to cancel my wedding or elope or anything, and I have three reasons for that.

1. I think there is a lot to the idea of ceremony. Setting a time aside to go through certain steps in a very serious frame of mind is important, in my opinion. When I say my vows to Josef, that will signify the beginning of our lives together in a way that “hey, let’s stay together forever” after a couple of beers simply cannot. (Sorry, Josef.)

2. Our families (especially my father) are counting on a wedding. It’s just what you do. Also, my father is counting on there being some time between now and the wedding, possibly so I have the chance to back out. (Not going to happen.)

3. We will never again get to spend 18 months planning a party of this size in which to celebrate our love and the beginning of our lives together.

So, in conclusion: Weddings are important. Ceremony is important. Standing up in front of the people you love and promising to stand by and support each other is important. However, a piece of paper is not important, nor is having a minister declare what I already know to be true.

Yep, I’m essentially already married. Look at me getting all teary-eyed. Not that he reads this stuff unless I stick it under his nose and pout*, but: I love you, Josef.

*Josef would like it to be noted that he reads my blog anytime that I say “hey, would you like to read this?” and that he would read it on a regular basis if I asked him to.

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